10 ways to create emotional connections with your audience when you speak in public
Human decision making is emotional – not logical.
If you want your strategic messaging to change the way your audience thinks or behaves, logic alone will never cut it – no matter how many proof points you have.
The way ahead is to create emotional connections with your audience so that people care, remember what you said, and feel motivated to do something different.
Here are 10 ways you can make your strategic messaging resonate – and persuade your audience to act – by connecting with your audience on an emotional level.
(A postscript: Most all the examples shared here are excerpts from Cicero Speechwriting Award-winning speeches written for our clients over the years. Read these excerpts to see how techniques were applied to create emotional connections – and get inspired as you begin to craft strategic messaging for your next important presentation.)
1 – Stand tall on common ground: Talk about a shared experience.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the interplay between “you” and “us” as the speaker, a wholesaler, shares the close working relationship and in-the-field camaraderie between wholesalers and their manufacturers’ reps. The respect and pride the speaker feels is evident as he describes how wholesalers and reps collaborate to serve their customers.
Reps who take the time to help wholesalers get better are the best of the best.
You know who you are.
You begin by showing an interest in a new wholesaler – a person with plenty of confidence and great ideas for their market. Someone with a lot of potential who just needs a little help.
And so you take a risk. You go out of your way to teach us the game of wholesaling.
You train us. You push us. And you have tough conversations with us.
You debate with us. But you always respect us.
Along the way, you introduce us to people we need to know.
You ask questions. And then you listen.
You are proactive, yet ethical: When you hear something or know something that we need to know about jobs or the market, you pick up the phone and give us a call.
You have the courage to tell us the truth – even when it hurts! – so we can step up our game and become more relevant in our market.
When you go to battle with us, you stay calm. And you calm us down.
You are honest with us about the good and the bad.
You tell us whenever we make a wrong move – and yet – you give us a chance to correct our mistakes.
You lead by example. And you get involved in our business.
Because you know how we make money, you give good advice on our behalf.
No matter what, you always have our back. Because you are with us not just for today, or tomorrow.
You are with us for the long haul.
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Can you talk about an experience, challenge or moment that you and your audience have in common so you can create a sense of shared understanding to forge a closer connection with people you are trying to influence?
2 – Let down your guard: Tell that personal story.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the vulnerability the speaker shares as she recounts her own journey to becoming an adoptive mother. She tells this story succinctly – using familiar words and short sentences – to keep the audience engaged.
I know all this because my family experienced the beauty of open adoption.
After a successful career in marketing in my 20s and 30s, I was ready to settle down. Get married! And start a family.
I started dating pretty seriously. And then met and married my husband, Dave.
For years we struggled to start a family. And then we met “D”: the woman who chose my husband and me to parent her baby 24 years ago.
D got pregnant during her senior year of high school. And decided to make an adoption plan, with support and encouragement from her mother.
After looking at stacks of profiles from hopeful, adoptive couples, D chose us! …
Since then, our experience has been a beautiful one, starting with D’s first ultrasound appointment: the day we met our daughter, Sydney, in 2D black and white!
D allowed us to participate in her pregnancy. Join her for doctor’s appointments and Lamaze classes. Even be there for Sydney’s birth, on August 18, 1999. …
I am forever grateful to Sydney’s birth mom, D, because SHE made ME a mom! And being Sydney’s mom has been the greatest honor of my life.
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Can you share a moment of struggle, setback or growth so the audience can see the real you and be ready to listen – with open minds and hearts – to what you have to say next?
3 – Zero in: Use precise language that makes people FEEL.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the precise language selected with care to evoke specific emotions: nostalgia, sympathy, sadness, fear, isolation, injustice, powerlessness, loss and longing.
Years ago, when most of us were growing up, adoptions were done differently.
Before the 1990s, most adoptions were closed. Closed adoptions maintain the privacy of both the birth parents and the adoptive parents. But often, here’s what happened:
If a young, unmarried woman got pregnant, the pregnancy was kept secret. The woman and her parents were afraid of rejection, shame and disapproval. (What would the neighbors say?)
Adoption was often forced upon the young woman, usually by her parents. The woman had no say in any of it.
Sometimes, the pregnant woman was sent far away, to live with a relative, until the baby was born. Then, once the baby was placed with the adoptive parents, the young woman was told to never speak of it again.
Keep it a secret! Just forget it! And move on.
So there was no grieving. No talking it out. No help. No healing! Even though the young woman went through the sorrow, loss and trauma of parting with her child.
Plus, there was no contact. No communication. No information about her child.
The birth mother never knew how her baby was doing in the new family that SHE made possible.
It was a cruel practice.
The story just ended!
Without any closure.
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Can you recreate a scenario or an experience by replacing generic language with colorful specifics that tap into the senses – sight, sound, touch, taste or smell?
4 – Spotlight others: Add “YOU” words; subtract “I” words.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the deliberate, repetitive uses of the word “you” and “your” in this short, 144-word passage that begins to unpack the Big Idea that curiosity is the muscle of inclusive leadership. The goal: to draw the audience in and get them to see exactly how and where they fit in to this conversation about curiosity and leadership, and what they can do to make a difference.
Curiosity is a way of connecting and caring about people.
No matter where you work or what you do, you have to be curious about what people on your teams need, so you can give them support, guidance and resources to do their best work.
You have to be curious about what your patients or clients need, so you can give them support, guidance and resources to improve and heal.
And you have to be curious about what your partners need, so you can collaborate to provide support, guidance and resources to advance the health care ecosystem here in El Paso, the state of Texas, New Mexico, Old Mexico and around the world.
The more you get to interact with people who have different backgrounds and experiences than you do, the more CURIOUS you need to be! And the more you need to learn.
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Have you reviewed your speech for the sole purpose of finding overused “I” statements and replacing them with “you” language to ensure your audience feels seen, included and directly addressed?
5 – Show respect, build trust: Look them in the eye.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the emergence here of the speaker as “the wise sage”: someone who points out an uncomfortable truth with bold language that gets right to the point. (And yes: The speaker delivered on purposeful eye contact when she carefully spoke these powerful words.)
It may be quite unintentional.
But sometimes, a woman’s voice is taken as a whisper – and later – reframed and reclaimed by someone else.
Other times, a woman’s voice is simply dismissed. Discounted and disregarded as unimportant. Insignificant. Irrelevant.
It happens.
Because even (today), traditional gender roles can still feel PERVASIVE.
At times, there STILL can be doubt and hesitation about what women KNOW, and what women CAN DO.
When women’s voices are taken as a whisper – or simply dismissed! – the consequences for women are tragic!
We withdraw. We question ourselves: What did I do wrong?
We wonder if we’re really entitled to be where we are.
And we are less likely to speak up the next time because we do not trust that others will hear us, treat us fairly and value our ideas.
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Can you identify at least three moments in your speech where you will pause, make direct eye contact with someone in each section of the room, and hold it for a full sentence before moving on?
6 – Be vivid: Share details to make memories.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the concrete words used to immediately transport people in the audience from their seats all the way to the gym, a river, a bike path, a hospital, a farm, a doctor’s office and a swimming pool.
A long and demanding recovery began.
It was another kind of starting over: exercising, lifting weights and getting back his core strength.
But Leonard did so much more!
He got back on the golf course and out on a kayak! Went cycling! Discovered horseback riding!
Even traveled overseas – despite all the accommodations necessary now.
Today, the doctors who know him and treat him at the Mayo Clinic and at the rehab center marvel at Leonard and what he has done!
They call him A MODEL PATIENT!
Someone with nine lives!
Today, all his numbers look great – cholesterol, blood pressure, everything! He feels good! And looks to be the picture of health.
He is still resilient! Still disciplined! Still determined to coach others to take control of their health.
Plus, Leonard is ready to conquer his next challenge: to get into a pool and swim once again.
He will NOT be defeated! Despite all he’s been through these past 11 years.
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Can you identify sections of your talk that are generic, vague, nondescript, unremarkable (boring because they are bland) and replace them with specifics: places, names, people, scenes, drama, color, textures, dialogue, sounds, movements, gestures, atmosphere?
7 – Prompt people to pause and ponder: Ask rhetorical questions.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the way the speaker opens his talk on mentorship by immediately asking his audience to go back in time and reflect on their own experiences, when they first started in the field. These rhetorical questions draw the audience in and make each person think back and recall how they felt at the beginning of their career when a mentor reached out to provide help and support.
I have a question for every rep here today.
Do you remember the first time someone in our industry took a chance on YOU – when you were a brand-new rep?
Who was that person?
What kind of help did you get?
How did it make you feel?
And how did that person change the direction of your career?
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Instead of simply asking for agreement, have you invited the audience to reflect for a few moments on a profound past experience?
- Have you introduced a tough question that challenges their assumptions or beliefs?
- Have you asked them to consider how their thinking may have changed?
- After you ask a rhetorical question, are you pausing long enough to let that question sink in – and allow the audience time to process?
8 – Be currently urgent: Make it matter now, today, in the present.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the way the speaker passes the baton from The Greatest Generation to today’s younger generation, which is facing urgent challenges in politics and society. Young people today, in this case new college graduates, have a unique opportunity to take up this awesome responsibility and lead change now, in this moment that matters most. The speaker makes the call to action – “be the catalysts” – relevant to the here and now.
Like The Greatest Generation, you have a unique role: to BE THE CATALYSTS to narrow our divide and heal our nation.
To BE THE CATALYSTS is an opportunity!
It’s the chance to put yourself into spaces where you feel uncomfortable so you can learn the realities of others.
It’s the chance to seek knowledge with intention from reputable sources by using reason and common sense. Read, read – and read some more!
It’s the chance to call out injustice and refuse to stand for policies and laws that widen our divide – economically, racially or politically.
To be trusted with a unique role is an invitation not extended to every generation.
As President John F. Kennedy said in 1961: “In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger.”
This is that hour.
And you are now one of these few generations.
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Have you stated why your message matters right now? Can you point to a current event, trend or immediate need that makes your message urgent for your audience today? Have you woven that urgency into your opening lines and key points?
9 – Fortify to reinforce: Match WHAT you say by HOW you say it.
In this speech excerpt:
Note the intentional formatting here – uppercase words, exclamation points, line breaks and up-and-down arrows (for when the voice must go UP, and for when the voice must go DOWN) – to assist the speaker with a proper delivery.
And so on this fine Saturday morning … as you sit on the edge of your seat ready to get your diploma – ready to start living your best life – I URGE YOU to look around.
See the great gift that surrounds you! 🡅
The gift of HUMAN CONNECTION. 🡇
Notice it! 🡅
Nurture it! 🡅
Nourish it! 🡅
Let that feeling sink in! 🡅🡅
Because what you feel when you connect and build relationships transcends your WORK! 🡅
Your JOB! 🡅🡅
Your CAREER! 🡅🡅🡅
What you feel when you connect and build relationships gives PURPOSE! 🡅
LIGHT! 🡅🡅
And MEANING to your life. 🡇
In the end, Michelle Obama said, “what matters most is the quality of your relationships.” 🡇
And that is SO true! 🡅
For ALL of us! 🡅🡅
Because what we feel when we connect and build relationships
IS 🡅 our common humanity! 🡅
And THAT’S worth celebrating! 🡅🡅
On this, your graduation day. 🡇
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Have you identified the most important messages in your presentation? And have you practiced delivering them with matching vocal tone, facial expression, body language and pacing to ensure your delivery reinforces the emotion and intent behind your words?
Are there places in your talk where a well-timed pause or silence would give your words more weight and let the message sink in more deeply?
10 – End on a high note: Offer hope.
In this speech excerpt:
Note how the speaker tells the audience that if they choose to take up the challenge she has presented, the payoff for truth itself will be considerable.
Today, as we begin our celebration of Martin Luther King Day … let us always SEEK TO FIND THE OTHER SIDE OF SOMEONE in our own PURSUIT OF TRUTH about other people.
Let us BE ACCOUNTABLE for our own words and actions – just like Dr. King! – so we can become BETTER TEAM MEMBERS …
Every time we are told ONLY ONE SIDE OF SOMEONE, let us CHOOSE to PURSUE THE TRUTH!
Let us hit the PAUSE BUTTON in our brain.
Let us take a moment to RETHINK what we are THINKING … ASK QUESTIONS … and SEE and HEAR for OURSELVES.
Let us always SEEK TO FIND THE OTHER SIDE OF SOMEONE.
And then decide for OURSELVES what is TRUE.
If we do this, I believe that collectively, we will be able to ORGANIZE TRUTH INTO A MOVEMENT!
We will be able to LIBERATE, UPLIFT and EMPOWER EVERYONE HERE!
Help every team member UNLOCK THEIR FULL POTENTIAL!
And become a MORE UNITED TEAM.
What happens next is POWERED BY YOU!
Here’s the question for speakers as you consider your strategic messaging:
Do your closing lines revisit the problem you’ve presented (and bring people down)? Or do your closing lines cast a clear vision for a positive, hopeful future? Does the audience see the possibilities? Feel inspired? Know precisely how to take the next step?
Let’s recap
If you want to persuade your audience to act, connect with people on an emotional level by applying these 10 techniques as appropriate – and make your strategic messaging resonate.
1 – Stand tall on common ground: Talk about a shared experience.
2 – Let down your guard: Tell that personal story.
3 – Zero in: Use precise language that makes people FEEL.
4 – Spotlight others: Add “YOU” words; subtract “I” words.
5 – Show respect, build trust: Look them in the eye.
6 – Be vivid: Share details to make memories.
7 – Prompt people to pause and ponder: Ask rhetorical questions.
8 – Be currently urgent: Make it matter now, today, in the present.
9 – Fortify to reinforce: Match WHAT you say by HOW you say it.
10 – End on a high note: Offer hope.
Need help ensuring your speeches and strategic messaging will resonate?
Contact Teresa Zumwald: a 20-time winner of the Cicero Speechwriting Awards who delivers custom speechwriting services, plus executive speech coaching, executive communication, and speaking and training.
